Vous etes invites! Le mariage de Ross and Shannon, deuxieme partie.

Welcome to Taiwan and Ross and Shannon's wedding reception, part 2. Once Shannon obtained her legal immigrant status, they were finally able to travel back to Taiwan so that Shannon's parents could celebrate their marriage with family and friends. I have chosen some photos to share this happy occasion with you and also photos that reflect some cultural traditions which are different from our American customs.
The reception was held at a restaurant in Taipai. Below, a picture of Ross and Shannon from their wedding day in Sacramento greets the guests as they arrive, along with a display of old photos of Ross and Shannon.

The bride gets special treatment. A hairdresser and make-up lady were both available throughout the entire event to help Shannon look her best. (Which, by the way, she did! She looked gorgeous). The reason for the on site beauty experts will become evident later on.

While the bride is getting ready, the guests arrive. Here, Shannon's two grandmothers greet each other as her grandfather looks on. (Love Grandpa's boutonniere. Ross had one like it).

A cultural tradition is that the grandparents give the bride a gift of gold jewelry to wear. Here is Shannon's grandmother giving her a gold necklace and bracelets. These will be worn later on, as you will see.

The bride is ready and she looks lovely.

Here Ross and Shannon make their grand entrance.

At last the bride and groom are seated and ready to eat. During this portion of the event, everyone toasts the bride and groom. Ross and Shannon lock arms (see photo at beginning of blog) in the traditional pose.

The menu consists of jelly fish, lobster and red meat. Ross is totally acclamated to food in Taiwan. He loves it.

Shannon's grandfather brought his photo albums for the family to look at, just in case they wanted to see them. Looking closely, you can see a military picture of him from when he served in World War II.
But this is only the beginning. It is time for Shannon to change into a more traditional Chinese dress, along with a change in hair style and some freshening up. She is now wearing the jewelry from her grandparents.

And, the second grand entrance!

During this part of the event, Shannon and Ross move from table to table toasting their guests. They use two hands to toast to indicate respect. (The small glasses contain tea, not alcohol, as there were many tables to toast.)

Shannon's Dad's military buddies thought Ross should be drinking something stronger than tea, and tried their best to entice him. They weren't too successful, and Ross ended up being the one to drive the family home.

Instead of presents, the guests bring money in red envelopes.

And they sign in and share best wishes.

Shannon made special pens for the occasion.

At the sign in table, two friends of Shannon's parents opened the envelopes and kept a ledger of the amount of the gifts and who gave them the gift. Now, here is the best part. The money goes to the parents of the bride (and groom, if from Taiwan) to pay for the entire event. This is a tradition we in America should take a look at. The guests pay for the wedding!!! If there is any money left over, the money belongs to the parents who may keep it or give it to the newly married couple. I understand that Shannon's parents did the latter.

Wait! We are not done changing clothes or hairdos. It is time for the finale.

Shannon dons a formal gown and lets her hair down to say good-by to the guests. They give a guest a parting gift, a favor containing chocoloat.

They also have their picture taken with the guests as they leave. Here are Shannon and Ross with Shannon's parents and her twin sisters.

Here is a congratulatory poster on display. The words in Chinese mean "double luck".

Ross and Shannon, and her parents, Mr. & Mrs. Chen, say thank you very much for coming. Everyone had a great time.

Yin et Yang, Le secret d'un long mariage

A while back a teacher I worked with was planning a trip to Paris. He asked me to teach him some French in preparation for his trip. When I told him that Rollie and I would be going to Paris for our 40th anniversary, he said, "Forget teaching me French, and tell me the secret of staying married for so long".

The simplified answer to that question would be "committment", but that sounds rather generic. I have heard much advice over the years, such as "marriage is a fifty/fifty proposition", "each partner gives 100 percent", or "always put the other spouse first". On a daily basis, I have never found marriage to be formulaic, at least not at a conscious level. A couple of weeks ago as I was signing Easter cards for the grandchildren, I asked Rolllie to address the envelopes. He prints so well. That's when I had a light bulb moment. The secret of our marriage is that we practice the Chinese art of Yin yang, which "describes how polar or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world and how they give rise to each other in turn". (Thanks Wikipedia.) Natural dualities -- light/dark, male/female, low/high, hot/cold are Yin and Yang.

Now I am not sure which one of us is Yin and which is Yang, though I am certain Rollie would say I represent the darker side (I call it being realistic), but we are definitely two contrary forces that have somehow always managed to function symbiotically. Originally, being married in 1970, we assumed traditional roles - bread winner/homemaker, but an evolution took place because, as you know, the Yin yang constantly interacts, never existing in absolute stasis. Our Yin yang approach is based on whatever each one does best. I wash the clothes, Rollie irons without creasing anything. I cook to make sure we don't have pot pies every night, but Rollie can really clean a kitchen. He vacuums (the straight lines in the carpet attest to that), and I dust (sort of). I shop, he puts things away. I buy the gifts; he wraps them for mailing. When planning trips and events, I visualize the big picture while Rollie sweats the details.

Never have we sat down to discuss this mutuality. It has just happened, and still happens, which leads me to explain the picture connected to this blog. One of the best parts of the Yin yang approach to marriage is when our mutual talents and interests complement each other. That is what this picture symbolizes. Rollie turns wood. I knit. In this instance, Rollie made me a "yarn bowl" with a cut-out section to slide the yarn through as I knit. The wood is finely smoothed and polished to allow the yarn to easily glide through the loop. The hand turned wood bowl serves as a protection to the soft yarn as together we create. The Yin and the Yang. So simple. This is our marriage.